Before starting this journey with Executive Coaching, I more than struggled with committing myself to pursue what truly resonated with me. I always felt this drive to want to help other professionals, and once I discovered that Executive Coaching was a path that I felt a strong interest in, I instantly had the opposite emotions of why I couldn’t or shouldn’t do it. I crafted stories and context on convincing myself otherwise. I eventually discovered, through an objective lens, that these “reasons” were really excuses hiding in disguise.
These excuses and doubts were a safety net for not taking risks, they protected me from the anticipation of failure because how can I fail at something that I don’t even do? If I’m afraid of heights all I need to avoid is climbing up a ladder, however, if I want to get to a higher level, it wouldn’t just happen by standing on the ground.
So, the question I asked myself was:
“How can I best prepare myself to achieve what I desire and maximize the chances of succeeding?”
The answer for me was in micromanaging my approach, making it so objectively based that it naturally eliminated doubt every step of the way. If I felt afraid or unsure of any small aspect, I could overcome that resistance by simply identifying what exactly I was doubting and pairing a logical and realistic solution to that issue. I was able to turn negative emotions into habits of actions and results, and make small, consistent progress.
Consider The Obstacle is The Way; it focuses on precisely that what is preventing you from moving forward needs to be the object to overcome. Thinking about your long-term goal but acting on short-term objectives. This method, broken down, simply became a routine to engage each day to steadily make progress. Soon enough, my actions and results started to replace the doubts I had because seeing what I had achieved in the days prior proved that I can be successful despite initially feeling that I couldn’t.
I then noticed a pattern that unfolded:
Feelings of inadequacy
Homing in on specifically what obstacle was causing that emotion
Identifying an effective solution
Applying that solution & acknowledging the results
I essentially became my own product of Lean Manufacturing and in time the imposter emotions diminished to a point where they no longer had any influence over me or my path forward.
We can agree that being active is a solution to feeling stuck, but how do you then even take the first step? For me, it was analyzing everything that was needed to do so. Converting that emotional component into small enough actions that I could have direct influence on, thus that negative emotion then becomes meaningless and starts to weaken.
Overcoming imposter feelings became a system of actions: identifying tasks and completing them, tracking the results, and objectively recognizing that the results were due to those specific actions. Not assumptions or guesses, but real actions that had a direct influence on success.
How then can you continue to sustain this process? In my experience, you arm yourself with information. Think back to when you were dreading doing something and then it turned out to be not as bad as you thought. Or when you were unclear of how to execute something, but you learned what was needed to complete it, and in reflecting back, it wasn’t as daunting as you assumed?
Looking at situations through an objective lens rather than an emotional response can help free you from getting stuck in doubt by realizing all that it took was breaking down a large task into smaller parts applied over time.
Then, simply realizing that the more you separate yourself from emotional reactions and act more objectively it empowers you to make progress, despite how you feel, because you have a mechanical system in place: breaking down the overall task into small enough components that are easier to complete. It’s a matter of distilling things down to more digestible parts and before you know it you are building momentum. You didn’t have to force yourself to feel positive or find a way to get motivated, you just needed a system.
It’s the system, not motivation, that enables you to overcome the doubt.
Negative thoughts and assumptions in anticipation of something can limit you to being able to act upon it. Being self-reflective on past experiences can help you make the next future decision. If that belief isn’t serving your goal, then what’s the point of spending energy on it? How can you get better at matching your beliefs with your achievements? Think back and prove to yourself when those emotions weren’t benefiting you.
To close, another quote that I often use more as a mantra, which aids in building resistance against doubt because it again focuses on action, is:
“Make progress, not excuses.”
How can you set yourself up to make progress by having a more direct influence on your decisions rather than being a victim of emotion?
Imposter feelings are just that, feelings, it’s action that allows you to continue to climb.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer the negative elements in your life, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy!” -Dale Carnegie
This quote often reassures me that there is a realistic and tangible solution to the universal experience of feeling inadequate or discouraged by one’s own inner dialogue. Most often, professionals have some familiarity with imposter feelings throughout various points in their careers and lives, and at various intensities. I certainly have, and my experience may not be so different than others, here is what helped me in navigating those doubtful emotions…