When someone mentions work/life balance, what comes to mind? Do you picture a happy, harmonious day and week where one is perfectly efficient with one’s time and activities in both professional and personal endeavors? Do you see ease, flow, and a completely synchronous execution of any and all responsibilities that one has to manage? Producing consistent results in all initiatives? Or, do you get anxious and tense at the very mention of the term “balance” as it seems like an impossible state to ever achieve? Is it a constant struggle of feeling never caught up in either work or personal life, and that you’ll never get ahead? Are you trying to prioritize a never-ending list of priorities? Perhaps, would you ideally like to simply remove that constant feeling of overwhelm and frantic energy each day?
I’m here to analyze whether the very concept of work/life balance is even something we should be striving for, something that we actually need to manage. I’m curious if what we’re even trying to balance needs to be prioritized. Does this pressure to create and maintain a perfectly manufactured schedule really help us in producing the results we’re trying to achieve? Is what’s on the scale even necessary in the first place?
In this modern age, work and life seem to blend into one state. Beyond the scope of this article, I’m curious if it is even possible to separate the two anymore. Especially the difficulty to “turn off” the thoughts and worrying about one while being engaged in the other. Perhaps before we get to “balancing” anything, we need to address that our attention is most likely on both at any given time. Despite our best attempts to control the dynamic relationship between the two, we’re probably still thinking about both work and life regardless of how well they are being handled!
Even more so, are the factors that make up work and life always opponents or do they ever complement each other? Can they live synergistically? Certain ambitious professionals don’t really view these as different aspects, their personal and professional aspirations are one, and they find fulfillment in overall growth. It can, however, mean different things to many of us, and I believe it’s dependent on a few key factors based on what we do with the time we have and how well we manage ourselves based on our goals.
To start, let’s try to define “work” and “life”.
What are the components of work that we need to better control here? What are the important aspects of our life that need to be managed?
For most people, work would be categorized as a responsibility for any particular tasks that produce financial income and stability, and the time, energy, and situational context it takes to produce a given amount. Life, if we could attempt to define it in this context, would be all other responsibilities and actions that demand completely separate time, energy, and situations to ultimately produce a healthy, stable, and happy existence within our immediate circumstances.
Before we dive in, let’s rule out the obvious…that struggling to have an ideal work/life balance is mostly skewed to certain settings and roles and depends on the actual task you are engaged in at the moment and the method of producing your financial income. As an example, picture yourself as a New York City window washer hanging 70 stories above 5th Avenue. I doubt it’s feasible to be soaping windows while simultaneously juggling picking up your kids from school, having a phone meeting, and eating a late lunch. However, say you work a remote sales role for the window washing company. Maybe you are taking incoming calls throughout the busy afternoon as you are physically doing other things. Different scenarios and settings will surely have different demands on your mental bandwidth, your time, how you generate income, and ability to effectively manage disparate activities. The same window washer, while unable to have a flexible schedule, is under the constraint that they can only perform their roles while in a very particular setting and do not have to manage multitasking the way the sales professional might have to. The window washer has the luxury of being completely “off” when they are back on the ground. The sales rep however, may always be “on” due to the nature of their work. The factor that shifts in this comparison would be any artificial boundaries or parameters that the sales professional upholds to create the restrictions and structure that the window washer naturally has. Perhaps then, having any need to balance work and life may mostly depend on the particular modality of the tasks that directly produce financial gain and the tendency of those tasks to either blend into other situations or stay isolated in a specific setting.
Perhaps, feeling the need to have balance is more of a modern struggle. Constant social media, checking emails, always being available and “on”. The expectation that we need to produce a certain level of results, the competition, the comparing to others, the hustle culture, the need for more, never feeling satisfied, new tech upon new tech, the factors seem endless. Is this what we truly want? Is this meeting our needs? Does all of that “noise” actually lead to us achieving the very goals and reality we deeply want? Would you say that most of this may just be a fancy distraction? Is all of that really necessary to reach our goals, regardless of their direct influence of contributing to our results?
I believe step one would be getting very clear on the outcome that one is trying to ultimately produce in both their personal and professional endeavors. Quite simply, what are your overall goals? How clear are you in what you are working towards? Identifying that vision for the end result could offer the objective lens which all of your activities, that you feel must be balanced, are viewed through and influence your decisions and actions.
If we think of the very tangible factors that we’re trying to balance, those that take up our time, attention, and energy, which of them actually need to be on the scale? Which ones can we afford to sacrifice, even just for a moment? Perhaps we’re spending our valuable time, attention, and energy trying to balance all these factors but it’s not actually moving the needle on our overall progress.
I would identify two main components to this conundrum:
1. What truly needs to be on the scale?
2. Is having overall balance actually necessary?
Let’s analyze them separately.
I’d like to challenge what we’re even putting on the scale to begin with. Perhaps the difficulty lays in the perception of what we need to be balancing before we even try. I believe it’s more of a matter of quality vs quantity. Think about the realistic aspects or tangibles that might be on the scale you are trying to balance. What are the adjustable factors that you can intentionally leverage? Consider the list of aspects below and let’s determine their impact and value.
As you assess these factors, ask yourself: Do they directly contribute to achieving the ultimate goals I want? In both professional and personal arenas, what am I willing to compromise on and what is non-negotiable? In other words, what is the level of importance of these factors?
Tasks: What are the specific actions and activities that directly promote progress with my goals? What are the vital actions that only I can and must do? Which ones can be refined, delegated, automated, or perhaps bypassed?
Time: Specifically, how much exact time is needed to accomplish any of the necessary tasks I identified? Can I improve my quality output and become more efficient? How?
Energy & Focus: To what degree of focus are these tasks needed to be performed? What is the level of intensity I need to dedicate to properly execute these vital tasks? What is the ideal setting, then, to perform these tasks?
Others involved: Who else needs to be involved to make progress? Is this an independent and isolated activity or do other colleagues need to be included? Am I dependent on anyone or is anyone dependent on me?
Flexibility: What is the level of flexibility I have when I can accomplish any of these tasks? Can I adjust when they get completed in any given day or week? Is there a sequence or order that I have to consider? Is there a particular deadline?
Prioritization: What is the most important task that needs to be completed immediately based on my current priorities? Can this be a future initiative? When does the priority shift?
Justification: How necessary is the outcome that I am even trying to produce? Is this a need or a want? To what degree?
As we reflect, it’s clear that balance is more about quality output vs just spending excess time, attention, and energy on less important tasks. How may our circumstances improve if we take a moment to better assess these factors before we just blindly adopt them onto our scales?
Secondly, are we struggling to find equilibrium because what we’re trying to manage isn’t actually meant to be even? Is achieving balance required to reach our goals? Does symmetry truly give us an advantage, or could it perhaps create an obstacle? In my observations, I like to determine if balance needs to be long term, what if temporary imbalance is actually better for results?
If we think about priorities and the goals we’re trying to accomplish, a lot depends on the chapter we are in. What is most important for us right now wasn’t always the priority, and things may shift again once we make meaningful progress. Our situation and circumstances may change based on our success, struggles, and needs. As our initiatives get accomplished, it changes the parameters of what we need to manage. Perhaps then, the most important factor to keep in mind is that our circumstances at any given time are temporary and that the scale is going to shift regardless. As our actions ultimately make progress, the weight of any particular factor changes and we’re managing a completely different situation than from when we began. This empowers us because knowing that any moment in time is just that, a moment. Things will change and we can prioritize various factors and make temporary sacrifices and adjust the intensity based on what is needed most. Keeping this in mind then, the scale doesn’t need to be steadily balanced, we’re attempting to achieve the wrong state. The scale needs to be in our deliberate control, we need to intentionally dictate when one side is higher or lower based on our ambitions, our results, and immediate goals. The objective then, in this article’s sense, is being able to manually manipulate our circumstances and control more of our actions, decisions, quality output, and ultimately outcome. We are able to adjust our behaviors and actions that we spend time, attention, and energy on to produce the results we want. In theory, we adjust the relationship dynamic to the scale: we are not beholden to hopefully find stability at any random moment; the ideal reality is that we are empowered to dictate what is being measured, and how and when the scale tilts. We are in control. The focus now turns to how do we gain that ability.
Based on everything above, here would be my suggestions formatted as a decision-making framework. Execute this workflow to better control the scale in both your professional and personal arenas so you can produce your intended results and live your ideal lifestyle. It is my hope that we, as busy people living in a busy world, can establish a healthier relationship with all of our responsibilities and live with more intention.
As previously mentioned, step one would be to solidify our goals and get super clear on what we are trying to achieve. Identifying our intentions will give us the objective perspective to make strategic decisions and protect our time, energy, and attention. Then, establishing a realistic timeframe of when any of the tasks need to be completed and how much time is necessary. Adding to this, knowing what other resources are needed to complete these tasks that we’re directly engaged in can better empower us to efficiently produce the desired outcome. Then, confidently knowing which impactful activities directly promote that result will help us determine what we need to be doing. Lastly, prioritizing what we are spending our valuable resources on and paying attention to the results will help us continue to make consistent progress.
Here, the framework is broken down in detail:
1. What are my goals?
a. What are my overall personal and professional goals?
b. What is my intention and what is it that I ultimately want to accomplish?
c. How significant are these aspirations? Are they needs or wants?
d. What needs to be obtained for these goals to be reached? What are the steps along the way and what is actually involved in achieving these goals?
e. What are the objective results I want vs the emotional perception of what may be influencing my decisions?
f. What is most important at the moment or stage I am in?
2. What time and resources do I have?
a. What’s my immediate timeline for these goals and overall success?
b. What are the necessary resources I need to achieve these goals? Time? Money? Anything else?
c. What is the mental energy or bandwidth that demands my focus?
d. Is this time flexible? What are my constraints?
3. What are the impactful activities that directly drive results?
a. What tangible activities truly drive the needle forward and directly promote the results I want? What is needed for me to spend my time on?
b. What is necessary and what can be adjusted?
c. What is the ideal setting for me to execute these tasks?
d. How much am I actually in control of any of these factors?
e. Do I enjoy any of these tasks and can I sustain them?
4. What needs to be prioritized?
a. What is most important in the immediate time frame I am in?
b. What sacrifices am I willing to make?
c. Could I potentially redefine what a sacrifice really is?
d. What are my short-term sacrifices for my long-term goals?
e. What are my boundaries, standards, and situations I am willing to adjust?
5. What shifts as I make progress?
a. What are the aspects that determine my success? What changes once I make progress and obtain results? How do I know when to adjust what is being done at any point?
b. What are my personal & professional needs and wants? How can I deliberately choose to spend time and resources on one over the other activity based on the overall goals I identified above? What am I willing to temporarily adjust?
c. Am I satisfied with the current results and pace at which I am making progress? What will need to shift if I want to amplify the results?
d. What do I need to prepare for the next phase as I make progress? What will need to be managed and adjusted?