Paranormal Growth: A Haunting Synopsis of How to be Successful in Sales

This article focuses on the challenges of driving sales in a more competitive and overwhelming landscape. There are so many new advancements, innovations, services, products and new companies that it’s hard for customers to keep up, let alone decide on an option. Many times, customers simply go silent, or “ghost” us after we have had a meaningful interaction. This article dives into the behavior of “ghosting” and how it affects the sales professional, and what we can do to still ultimately find success in driving results.

There are few service based professions that can provide the unique combination of the dynamic pursuit of success, the demand for adaptability, and the fulfillment of accomplishment other than being a dedicated sales professional. The relationships one builds, the struggles that are overcome, the relentless consistency that is needed to drive growth, and the hard and soft skills one needs to master all make being a sales consultant a noble and rewarding career. There is one particular situation, however, that continues to frighten even the most seasoned and accomplished sales reps. Despite having grown years of alligator-thick skin, building what may be an Olympic level resilient mindset, and being more adaptable than any new LLM, sales reps are still scared to death by one particular situation.

It’s the moment that so many sales professionals do not want to admit. The phase that we stubbornly continue to persist regardless of all the telltale signs. The circumstance that causes our skin to crawl. Its where we have such a solid opportunity in front of us with a potential customer who seems interested, and when we aligned our services to provide real value, and everything seems to be a perfect match, but then it all starts to turn dark…the final attempt to regain an interaction with a past prospect, when no amount of outreach, following up, touching base, and checking in will ever push the opportunity forward. We ultimately have to come to the reality and crumble to our knees deciding to cease any further attempts to reengage because there is absolutely nothing else we can do…we have to face our deepest fears and conclude that we did in fact, officially, just get ghosted!

Well, at the core of this horrendous and oftentimes unavoidable act, ghosting can be defined broadly as the complete cessation of all communication and responsiveness from one party who had previously displayed curiosity in a possible successful sale.

“To me, ghosting is when there has been a legitimate conversation, interest has been expressed, there's an expectation of a next step, and then communication just stops without any closure.” says Justin Larson of UpLevel Partners.

It’s not so much that conversations and interest didn’t move forward, as sales reps we understand that not every opportunity goes the distance, it’s that fact that no explanation was given. There is no particular reason for the stoppage, no constructive feedback, no chance to provide alternative options, no resolution. As sales professionals who build their success on constant self-improvement, this could be devastating and significantly unsettling.

As Danielle Avila of Danielle Avila Coaching states, “It's not hearing "no" that's difficult, it's the silence and uncertainty that make it challenging.”

The more sales professionals that I discuss this tragedy with, the more I realize it’s a fairly, albeit unfortunate, common situation. If you were to ask anyone in a service-based role if they have ever been ghosted, most will say it’s quite commonplace. Depressingly, I discovered that this experience is so prevalent, most reps now expect it.

Nyasha Maringe of Strategic Support Consultancy simply states “I’ve experienced this more times than I can count.”

“It’s a fairly common part of the sales and onboarding process in this industry.” says Rochelle Foote of Digital Dental Assistant Academy.

I am curious, however, that if it is so rampant and sales reps are so used to it by now, why does this still affect us and keep us up at night? Shouldn’t this just be another bump in the road that we can easily get over and move on to the next opportunity? Can’t we just add another layer to our armor-like thick skin and keep marching forward? Ask anyone about ghosting and they instantly react and wave their fists in the air. Why then, do we continue to question every nuance of our interaction with that particular “ghost” and obsessively analyze it to the point where we feel we could take a second job as a forensic investigator? Why can’t we simply just let it go? Perhaps, I believe, is because we hold onto what could have been, the vision of the possible success, the potential that this customer could have had. We simply will not let go of false hopes and blissful dreaming.

The next logical question I have is, “Does the responsibility then lay in us, the ghosted sales professional in just letting go, or should the onus be on the “ghoster” themselves for not being considerate and showing any decency? At the same time, is it fair to hold such a grudge against the ghost in the first place? Perhaps we would be relieved of the rampant assumptions if they simply had common courtesy to say they are no longer interested. How happy, how elated, how overjoyed would a sales rep be just to hear “I’m no longer interested.” This would be fantastic for those of us who are constantly getting ghosted! We finally have clarity and closure. We can move on.

As Wayne Glassoff of Digital Dental Assistant Academy puts it, “I try not to take it personally. People are busy. Priorities shift. Emails get buried. Sometimes someone fully intends to get back to you and simply doesn’t. And yes, sometimes people would rather disappear than just say, “No thanks.”

Aimee Vail of Merkaba Strategy and Health Advisors could also agree, “It isn't the "no." It's the absence of one.” All momentum simply stops, with no reply either way.”

Let’s dive into this phantom phenomenon a bit more, let’s try to further obsess over why and how this ridiculousness occurs. Most of the contributing authors of this article state that the majority of the ghosting happens after some significant interaction or meaningful engagement occurs. Following a discovery call, a proposal, a demo, a follow up meeting, or when pricing was given.

“They'll tell me how much they need the support, how aligned they feel, and that they want to move forward. Then... nothing.” mentions Danielle.

Before we start to question whether we officially declare that a ghost is upon us, we as diligent sales reps do, will often “follow up” or “check in.” Assuming things are busy, got buried, overlooked, pushed back, or simply forgotten, we provide a gentle nudge, a little reminder. We want to emphasize that we are still here eagerly waiting and hoping momentum continues. It’s in these dreaded days that we begin to formulate the assumptions and projections of what may be going on within the minds of the prospects. We’ll second guess our pricing, our offerings, our conversations, and nearly anything and everything will be under scrutinous review so we can try to salvage the opportunity, try to save it from dying.

Many of our contributors have various effective methods to attempt to re-engage with the prospect, here are some strategies that can provide a shred of hope for those who still struggle to keep the opportunity alive:

What tends to work to some degree:

· Emailing something specific we shared

· Sending a thoughtful follow up and leaving the door open to reconnect in the future

· Adding real value when sending emails

· Reaching out and connecting with another staff member who could possibly help with communication

· Assuming the best and giving it more time

What hasn’t worked:

· Generic emails

· Bland voicemails

· Simply emailing and “checking in”

· Constantly chasing

Beyond the methods of how to reconnect, the challenge is also how long and often a sales professional spends trying to elicit a response before throwing in the towel. Our contributing authors average about 3 or so touchpoints within a 3–4 week range, and if no response is received, they will generally chalk it up as a loss and move on. Obviously, the invitation to leave the door open for future discussions is always there, the key is not to dwell and spend precious mental bandwidth on the stressful situation.

Danielle’s strategy encourages us to have a resilient outlook and spend time on other opportunities, “Usually three touchpoints over a few weeks. After that, I let it go. If someone truly wants the help, they'll come back. I'd rather spend my energy serving people who are ready than convincing someone who isn't. Occasionally people come back months later when the timing is right.”

At least in my own personal experience, the biggest internal challenge is the debate between is this prospect just not interested and I am that low on their priority list, so much so that I don’t even warrant a response, OR is it that they are just so busy and my messages are simply getting overlooked? Either way, the most difficult decision for me is do I also decide to eventually stop communicating and assume permanent loss? Oh, the mental turmoil!

Sales professionals would surely agree that managing this stress does come with a bit of emotional wear and tear and there are real deleterious effects on oneself.

Rochelle shares that sentiment: “The hardest part is the uncertainty - wondering whether I missed something, left out a key detail, or wasn’t clear enough. Without a response, it’s difficult to know what could have been done differently, and that’s the piece I sit with.”

I believe it’s situations like this that truly build resilience and forges a strong growth mindset. It’s a means of survival; one has to look beyond these missed opportunities and find other avenues for success.

Just take this lesson learned from Justin: “When you're building something yourself, it’s easy to internalize silence. You start wondering: Was my proposal wrong? Was the price wrong? Did I not communicate my value? Did they choose someone else? I’ve had to become much better at separating feedback from ambiguity. If somebody tells me why they aren't moving forward, I can learn from that. Silence doesn't give me useful information, so I try not to manufacture a story around it.”

This general advice to not let it bother you only goes so far, here we see some real tangible strategies for emotionally navigating the dreaded ghosting situation and how to move onto more likely wins:

Aimee shares that “It's business…and treating it as personal will make you miserable and possibly end your career. The honest hardship isn't the sting, it's the volume. If you accept that a percentage of people will go quiet, you have to keep enough opportunities in front of you that it doesn't matter when they do. That's why I network as much as I do. One door closes and another opens, but only if you've been out there opening doors. It takes patience. The resilience came from the falls and the wins together. You need both. The falls teach you it isn't fatal, and the wins teach you it's worth staying in.”

Nyasha agrees, “I don’t take it personally, I understand there are so many variables that may affect the choice to not move forward besides my pitch, sales is about knocking on as many doors as possible to find those that really need your help.”

Justin shares “One of the biggest lessons is not to confuse enthusiasm with commitment. Someone can have a fantastic conversation with you, compliment your ideas, say they absolutely want to work together and still never move forward. I’ve learned to put more emphasis on clearly defining the next step while we’re still engaged. Rather than ending with “Let me know what you think,” I want a specific action, date, meeting, or decision attached to the conversation. I've also learned not to over-invest emotionally in an opportunity before there is an actual commitment.”

For the readers who can relate and are seeking more advice on how to best manage being ghosted, let’s highlight a few more strategies that enable us to find success despite how often this may occur:

“Seeking to solve problems or provide solutions is a lot more satisfying and impactful. You've got to realize that while people may be interested, they may not see their issue clearly enough to understand how your solution helps them. In knowing this, you can start to identify who is ready to benefit from your product/service. Not chasing every prospect as if they are the right customer allows you to focus on the ones that can actually benefit from your product/service and brings more satisfaction. Not every customer is the right customer.” says Alicia Dieujuste of The Dentisphere.

Rochelle adds, “I’ve learned that responsiveness makes a real difference. I used to reply less often and less quickly; now I make a point to respond promptly and clearly, and I’ve found people are far more likely to stay engaged when I do. I’ve come to understand that not everyone who reaches out is ready to commit, many are simply curious and gathering information. So, I focus on giving them everything they need and building a genuine relationship that will still be there when they’re ready to move forward. That mindset takes the sting out of the silence.”

Here, Danielle provides a thorough process that has proven results: “It wasn't always easy. Earlier in my business, I took it personally. I questioned my pricing, my messaging, even my abilities. Over time, I've realized that silence doesn't automatically mean rejection. People are busy, priorities change, budgets shift, and life happens. Separating my worth from someone else's decision has been one of the healthiest shifts I've made. The hardest part wasn't losing the sale, it was the emotional energy. You start wondering what you did wrong or replaying every conversation. When you're building a business, every opportunity can feel like it carries the weight of your financial future, and that's exhausting. I've learned not to build my business around any one opportunity. Instead of obsessing over one prospect, I focus on consistently serving the people who are already in front of me and continuing to create value. I also don't assume silence means no forever. After enough conversations, you realize ghosting is part of doing business. I've become more confident in what I offer, and I know the right clients don't usually require convincing. Resilience came from understanding that every "not now" creates space for someone who's a better fit.”

From these examples, it’s clear that those of us in sales need to evolve our mindsets so we focus on always aiming to provide value, spending time with those who do engage with us, and separating how it personally affects us. There are plenty of opportunities to generate success, stopping our momentum to dwell and obsess over the ones that could have been will only slow us down. One sentiment that I often hold close that keeps me moving forward is that some of my best customers are the ones I have yet to meet. If I may share two particular pieces of advice: 1-Don’t stop. 2- Keep going.

Beyond the what and how of navigating being a victim of ghosting and its effect on us, let’s also explore why we think this dreadfulness happens in the first place. Again, the questions of are people so busy they can’t keep up with responding or are they just not considerate to even provide a response keep coming back up. As the workload and expectations for leaders continue to grow, it now seems common to ignore the things that are not at the very top of our priority lists, despite how it may emotionally impact someone else. Here we gather some insights into why this is so prevalent in our day and age.

Alicia states that “With technology, people have become more transactional keyboard warriors where there is less accountability. Back in the day, you couldn't escape the social implications if you ghosted them. There seems to be no consequence involved in ignoring someone these days.”

Danielle shares a similar response, “We're overwhelmed. There are endless options, constant notifications, and information coming at us from every direction. Sometimes people don't know how to say no, and silence feels easier than having an uncomfortable conversation.”

“It’s human nature to avoid tough conversations” adds Nyasha.

Rochelle mentions that “I think it’s simply the path of least resistance. Going silent lets people avoid saying no, so they don’t have to feel like they’re letting anyone down.”

“Sometimes the person isn't avoiding me, they may be avoiding the decision itself… Going silent can be easier than confronting that uncertainty.” Says Justin.

And Aimee makes a valid and astute point, “Everyone is busy, and I think some people assume you won't notice. But the bigger thing is that we don't have to move business in person anymore. Everything happens behind a screen, and a screen is an easy place to hide. I think we've all gotten a little numb to each other.”

Besides trying to understand more behind the individual who is being the actual ghost, let’s continue to explore if there is in fact anything that we could do differently to avoid being ghosted in the first place.

Rochelle mentions “There are so many factors at play. Priorities shift, budgets change, and timing isn’t always right. It’s rarely just one thing… there’s always room to listen more closely, understand their specific needs, and tailor my approach to what they’re actually looking for.”

Aimee reassures us of what to focus on, “Stronger mindset, cleaner communication, better timing. I try to be one percent better every day. That's the whole standard.”

Nyasha states, “My proposal may have been bad, they also may have lost interest, their budget also may not be ready, their business may not be in a position to onboard a new vendor and the biggest one is an inherent resistance to innovation and change within the industry. I am working on improving my active listening skills and accepting that some discussions don’t need a pitch, they just need an ear.”

“Sometimes it's interest. Sometimes it's timing. Sometimes it's money. And sometimes it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I've had people come back six months later saying they weren't ready at the time. That's taught me not to create stories around someone else's silence. There are always ways to improve communication or better understand someone's needs. But I also think we give ourselves too much responsibility for decisions we don't control. The goal isn't to close every sale, it's to clearly communicate the value you provide and let people make the decision that's right for them.” Says Danielle.

Alicia offers solid advice from her experiences, “Identify early on if the prospect is aware, willing & able, and if your product can actually help them solve their problem to ensure the prospect is worth your time and effort. Give enough information about how you will help, but not all of the details (to avoid overload). Always set the next appointment in advance instead of chasing them back down later (this ensures they have an opportunity to tell you no instead of ghosting).”

At this point, readers surely understand the situation well and are now begging to know what can actually be done about it. There are some obvious requests to those who often ghost: Be more direct and honest, set up a specific follow up, provide a simple response to any of the multiple emails, a quick text would also be appreciated.

Nyasha urges to “Express explicitly exactly why it’s not a good time to move forward or the product is not a good fit,” so there can be actual proper closure.

Rochelle adds, “Honestly, a simple, direct answer, even a no, with a brief reason is all I ask for. It’s completely okay to decline; it’s not personal, it’s business. A quick response lets everyone move forward with respect and clarity.”

Here, Danielle provides a humbling request for the ghosts: “I think honesty is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone in sales. A simple message saying, "I've decided to go in another direction," or "The timing isn't right," is enough. Most professionals aren't looking to pressure you, they simply appreciate clarity. A respectful "no" is far more valuable than silence because it allows everyone to move forward.”

Aimee reassures us, “Be respectful, stay pleasant, and move on. And the big deal you didn't win probably wasn't yours to begin with.”

One question I had to ask our contributing authors was if they themselves ever ghosted someone else. Just the idea of the very victims of ghosting actually returning the same terrifying behavior seems blasphemous. It turns out, sales professionals are humans all the same and at times are guilty of the heinous act.

Alicia admits, “When it comes to indecision, for me it's usually because the path forward looks unclear, or I am not certain the product is the right fit. When I am pursued for the "sale" is when I would ghost (because they've made it feel transactional). When someone is truly trying to add value/help, I am responsive.”

Danielle assures us that she stays intentional about telling someone it’s not the right fit for her at the moment and she ensures she’s respectful and considerate when doing so.

Nyasha says, “Ghosting is never personal. There are so many variables that affect a decision to move forward. I’m now very direct and always make sure I communicate.”

Rochelle admits that “Typically when I’ve already given a clear no or canceled, and the other person won’t accept the answer. In those cases, stepping back is really about protecting a boundary I’ve already communicated.”

Justin provides that: “I think most of us probably have, even if we didn't call it ghosting at the time. Being on the receiving end has made me much more conscious of closing loops myself.”

Wayne sums up the whole experience very eloquently, “I’m perfectly comfortable addressing the obvious. “Hey, I haven’t heard from you. Totally fine if priorities have changed. Should we keep the conversation going, or should I close this out?” No guilt. No games. Just an easy opportunity to tell me where things stand. Funny enough, those are often the messages that finally get a response. I think being good at sales means being comfortable with both persistence and rejection. I’d much rather hear a clear “no” than spend the next three months wondering what happened. But until I hear that no? You’ll probably hear from me again.”

So, as we reflect on how to best navigate ourselves in the face of being ghosted, it seems the best strategy is to simply look past the particular abandoned customer and put our attention and energy on other potential opportunities (we essentially look through the situation…like looking through a transparent ghost…because it’s see-through…get it…ok sorry).

It’s knowing that not one particular client or customer will make or break our success alone. In order to be successful in sales we need multiple potential customers spread out across a broader range. It’s a reflection of the 80/20 rule. As the one situation, as enticing as it may be and with the potential it may hold, shouldn’t dictate where the majority of our attention and energy goes. We need to spend more time and focus on seeding new opportunities with a variety of potential customers. In essence, we turn from being ghost busters now to playing the role of farmers (planting seeds…with many potential customers…for multiple opportunities…like a farmer would plant actual seeds…if we needed yet another obvious analogy…we’re almost done here).

In closing then, if you are trying to grow business by any means, ghosting seems to be just a part of the process nowadays. If you can let it go without it affecting you, and focus on other opportunities, you’ll be more successful sooner. I believe ultimate success in sales comes down to the quality of value you can bring to the quantity of relevant customers. This balance is really only achieved with constant self-improvement and time. Keep your attention towards new opportunities and be receptive to older ones resurfacing with some luck. Sales is a grind for sure, and it’s the diligent and consistent professionals who ultimately find their success, despite being haunted by a ghost every once in a while.

Thomas Passalacqua is the founder of Ascend Professional Pathways and is an Executive & Business Leadership Coach. Having spent the last 10 years as a successful dental sales and business development professional, he is no longer afraid of ghosts or any other lost sales opportunities. Thomas is, however, creeped out by jumping cave crickets.

A special thank you to all of our contributing authors who provided such valuable insights and experiences for this article. To learn more about their businesses, please visit the following:

Danielle Avila of Danielle Avila Coaching

Nyasha Maringe of Strategic Support Consultancy

Justin Larson of UpLevel Partners

Aimee Vail of Merkaba Strategy and Health Advisors

Wayne Glassoff and Rochelle Foote of Digital Dental Assistant Academy (DDAA)

Alicia Dieujuste of The Dentisphere